So, where did we last leave off? Christmas. Yes. Christmas day Matt and I had gifts to open which was oodles of fun. Afterwards, we made breakfast together and lounged around until it was time for lunch & watching Home Alone.
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| Chocolate pumpkin spice cake slice topped with homemade whipped cream! |
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| Our Christmas Pizza - sausage & zucchini! Yum. |
It was a wonderfully relaxing day and I didn't even cry until we were in bed that night. I just couldn't stop thinking about how if we had been at my parents house, I would have been in my pajamas leaning against the stove in the kitchen watching my mother make lime jello at one in the morning after a full evening of family festivities. Matt held me while I wallowed, gently singing the chorus to "achey breaky heart" over and over again (he couldn't remember the rest of the song).
The next few days weren't so bad and passed without incident until two days before New Year's Eve. I was at the grocery store in the aisle with dried beans and condiments looking for pinto beans to cook in our crock pot when I came across a stack of black eyed peas on a nearby shelf. The first time I can remember having black eyed peas and rice on New Year's Day was with my in-laws.
And just like that, I proceeded to bust out into tears thinking about how much I missed Matt's family and how I hated not being able to see them over the holidays. This time, Matt wasn't around to comfort me and I had to pull myself together without the his aid which was much more difficult, especially in conjunction with how loony crying in the grocery store made me feel.
As much as I enjoyed spending time with Matt and liked the idea of doing our own thing on the holidays, I was having a really hard time adjusting to the reality of what that meant. I love reconnecting with my family through traditions and relishing the good memories associated with the things we do. As much as I didn't want to admit it, the holidays were breaking my heart and making me wish I had never moved away.
It doesn't help that I have been back and forth to the doctor lately, which always leaves me feeling anxious and vulnerable. It's nothing serious as far as anyone can tell, just vague symptoms like fatigue (which makes my work as a server extra taxing) and night sweats newly accompanied by a hard knot in my abdomen.
Because of my past medical history, my doctor doesn't want to piddle around and wait for things to work themselves out. He ordered some tests and sent me on to a specialist who ordered some more tests. So I shell out money and act like a lab rat, all the while hoping that they won't find anything of significance but will find something to ease my mind about what my body is doing.
Anyway, after a quiet New Year's Eve in and a few more days of work, the time for Matt and I to visit our parents had arrived! We were only back home for about 5 days (2 1/2 days with each of our families), which wasn't long enough to satiate fully my need for family time but I will take what I can get! It was revitalizing to see and hug and talk with so many people I cared about.
Our time was filled with conversation and laughter and gift giving and incredible amounts of eating...steak and bruschetta and breakfast tacos and a traditional Christmas Eve dinner and fajitas and guacamole and homemade french toast. It was an awesome and exhausting trip and I can't wait until we can go back again! Until then, we're stuck in real life.
What we're into this week:
- In Matt's free time from his heavy load at work, he is playing Dead Island and Borderlands and working on his Python skills.
- I'm in the midst of several books/series, all very enjoyable: the extremely popular Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins (set to come out on film in March), The Farseer & Tawny man triologies by Robin Hobb because my life wouldn't be mine without some fantasy/scifi, Kisses from Katie by Katie Davis which is a recommendation from my mother who has her own obsession with orphans in Africa, The Urban Homestead by Kelly Coyne and Erik Knutzen which is filled with fascinating tips and ideas about living a more sustainable lifestyle in the middle of a city.
- Quote on my mind: "Hugging is good medicine. It transfers energy and gives the person hugged an emotional lift. You need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth. Scientists say that hugging is a form of communication because it can say things you don't have the words for. And the nicest thing about a hug is that you usually can't give one without getting one." - le-tang.tumblr.com
Alas, I've been writing this post for so long that it is no longer Saturday, which I am guessing means I should get to bed.
