Our One Year Wedding Anniversary!

I've been considering what to write for this commemorative post for several weeks now. Did I want to reminisce about our wedding, discuss the ways that we've grown as a couple over the past year, wax poetical about love and marriage in general terms? I even looked back to my journal for inspiration. What I found there made me laugh:

January 18th, 2011

Official confirmation of plans to wed.

January 23rd, 2011

Is this really happening? To me?! I am 110% ready to marry Matt and spend the rest of my life with him. I do not doubt that we can conquer and work through anything that comes our way. One big rule: we will NOT be the gender stereotypical husband & wife, but partner & spouse. Things have been so crazy and I really need more to time to relax but life is running me ragged! Maybe next weekend? I promise myself right now that this will NOT get out of hand. I will have a beautiful celebration but not at the expense of my sanity or anyone else's. What I care about wedding-wise: spending time with my family and Matt's family; a pretty, simple dress; a clean, handsome suit; two comfortable rings. Screw the rest!

March 6th, 2011

Talking to Matt on the phone - today has been stressful - the past few weeks have been stressful. I bought a dress for the wedding celebration. SIGH. Things have gotten difficult. Fast. But I guess we will survive. This will all end soon. 10 week countdown to May 15th, 2011!

And that is the last post in my journal. A few months after my last entry, I started this blog but that is a lame excuse for my absence in a journaling habit I've kept over the past decade. In my defense, I think that the 5 months of our engagement were the craziest, busiest and most emotional months that I've experienced since I was a wild and hormonal thirteen year old.

Anyway, after great indecision I finally decided to share the two pieces of relationship advice that have stayed on my mind over the past year. The first nugget of marriage wisdom comes from Matt's cousin, Autumn, who wrote to us and said, "There is no magic formula for a successful marriage, only love, trust, honesty and open communication. When all else fails there is always paper, rock and scissors to help with compromises!"

I love this advice because it demonstrates the basic tenets of any good relationship (love, trust, honesty, and open communication) while admitting 1) that marriage takes effort and 2) what works for one marriage won't necessarily work for another. It also recognizes that comprise and humor are useful tools when problems arise (which they undoubtedly will)!

The second piece of advice came from a random gentleman at the grocery store. Matt and I were debating the merits of different coffee brands and flavors when he approached us. He told us that we reminded him of a younger version of himself & his wife who came to pick out their daily brew just after being married forty three years ago! After telling us this adorable anecdote, he cautioned us with a gentle phrase, "Hang in there. Stay in love."

At first, the phrase "stay in love" seemed a little too generic to be good advice, but after reflecting for a while I think I understood what he meant. He meant that we should stay fond of each other as people, stay interested in the daily things and small quirks, stay connected and aware of one another. All those little things that people in love do without a second thought. 

Why those two pieces of wisdom have stuck with me, I don't know but I like them and there is comfort in knowing that good advice is out there, even if we don't really need it just yet, still being newlyweds and all. One year down, seventy eight years to go (I'm going to live to be a hundred, don't cha know)!

Anniversary Dinner Date!

Mothers & Daughters

Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing Moms that I know, including Grandma's and Momma's-to-be! Where would we be without y'all? In honor of day, I thought I would share  my absolute favorite Mother's Day postsecret card ever posted and a heartbreakingly beautiful letter:

The Found Essay: Letter from a Mother to a Daughter

“My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago.” Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep. 

When I don’t want to take a bath, don’t be mad and don’t embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl? When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don’t look at me that way. Remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair, and dealing with life’s issues every day. 

The day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If I occasionally lose track of what we’re talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can’t, don’t be nervous, impatient, or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you. And when my old, tired legs don’t let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. 

When those days come, don’t feel sad—just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I’ll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I’ve always had for you, I just want to say, I love you, my darling daughter.”

Essay courtesy of Spring In The Air