How Darkness Came to Cuddle in My Lap: The Story of Erebus

One of my co-workers, who we shall call Bandanna Man, is the most abrasive person I have had the pleasure of working with.* He is fond of glaring at people through the expo window, grumbling about fixing the mistakes of grown-ass adults, and generally harassing everyone around him. Bandanna Man often claims that we (the servers at Olga's) should all be riding the short bus instead of bothering him with our petty problems.

One evening, the food for one of my guest's (a pepperoni pizza - a long ticket item) came out to the table all wrong. I stormed back to the kitchen with the offending pizza in hand, indignant that my guest should have to wait twice as long for their food because of a needless mistake, and shoved the plate back into the window and said, "Bandanna Man - I needed this pizza without cheese!".

"The ticket didn't say no cheese."

And as I distinctly remembered specifying "no chez plz" in the special instructions area of the order I responded with, "YES. IT DID." I was right. I knew I was right. I had to prove I was right.

"No."

"YES. IT SAID NO CHEESE. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? CAN YOU NOT READ? I NEED A PIZZA WITHOUT CHEESE. MY GUEST HAS A DAIRY ALLERGY. IT SAID NO CHEESE YOU JERK!!! WHY ARE YO-"

Thank goodness another co-worker dragged me away (forcibly and while I was still screeching) otherwise I would have gotten myself fired (or at least written up) because I had no kind words to utter at that moment in time.

About twenty minutes later, my guest had gotten their cheese-less pizza and my ability to think rationally had returned so I walked back to the kitchen and apologized, "Hey Bandanna Man...I'm really sorry for yelling earlier. It was kind of stupid and uncalled for."

"It's okay. I messed up your pizza on purpose." **

That was not a response I had anticipated. In fact, his response was so absurd that I couldn't do anything but laugh hysterically. Bandanna Man was so rude to me that I decided I wasn't going to talk to him anymore.

So a few nights later, when I was getting off work well past dark and Bandanna Man asked if I need someone to walk me to my car, I was too surprised to say no. I typically deny chivalrous attentions from men, especially my co-workers, because I hate the idea of being some fair maiden who needs rescuing. But Bandanna Man's ninja move got the best of me.

On our way out of the restaurant, I began some idle chit-chat and Bandanna Man began complaining about the bitter cold of early morning dog walking here. Our conversation turned to cats and whether I wanted one and how Bandanna Man's wife had saved a kitty that was abandoned behind Olga's and that they were hoping to find a good home for it.

And all I could think was please give me a kitty! I need the unconditional love and amusement of a pet in this lonely, rainy state. I called Matt to confirm that "yes" was the only answer we were capable of in this situation. Within minutes, I was driving to Bandanna Man's place to take home a half-starved, fur-matted, impossibly adorable stray cat.

Our first cat-venture, was to the vet for a check up. The kitty hadn't previously been microchipped so there was no way to track down any possible owners if she was a runaway. Weighing in at a pathetic 5 lbs, the kitty was assessed to be about 10 months old with good teeth, no incurable health issues, and a sweet tempermant. This meant she could be ours forever!

Good thing too because we had already named her for her potentially beautiful coat. Erebus - a primordial diety in Greek mythology, one that has been around since the beginning of the universe, representing the personification of darkness.

I cannot wait until Erebus has a few more weeks of TLC, because she is going to be beautiful instead of skin and bones. Her coat is going to be long, full, and shiny instead of matted and patchy. At present, Ere (pronounced "airy") spends 60% of her time sleeping, 30% eating, and 10% engaging in sweet kitten-like behavior. She gives us more cuddles and attention then most kitties I've met and I am happy to accept them while her benevolence lasts. She's been through so much and I am pleased that we'll be able to love her back to health and aristocracy.

So thank you Bandanna Man, for your abrasiveness because without it I never would have accepted your kindness and thus never gained the pleasure of cuddling with all that is darkness and shadows and night.

* Just to clarify: This anecdote including Bandanna Man, while being true, in no way fully encompasses our interactions at work or his personality. Bandanna Man is a generally good guy and sometimes a shitty customer service job can make you grumpy and crazy in ways that are very unlike you. I like all of the people I work with, Bandanna Man included. Also, I wouldn't say ugly things about my co-workers on the internet even if I did have ugly things to say.

** Bandanna Man went on to explain that when I went back to the kitchen earlier in the shift to clarify with him that the pizza needed pepperoni but no cheese, that we had miscommunicated. He thought I wanted the pizza to have both pepperoni and cheese and that's what I came back to the kitchen to clarify.