Team Smelkins Moves. Again.

How often does this stable couple move in the first 16 months of their marriage? Three. So far. It could be more, but dear god I hope not.

With the way our old lease ended and new lease began, Matt and I had 36 hours to move our stuff, profusely clean our old space, and crash into our new place. And I can honestly say this is the only time I wished that we had more deadbeat friends who had nothing better to do than haul boxes up and down a half flight of stairs in exchange for a big meal and a cold beer.

My favorite quote from our moving experience came from Matt when he was driving the 14ft U-haul across town and excitedly shouted "I'm in a big orange tank!" And let me tell you, it felt like we were driving around in a tank so he wasn't exaggerating. Our tiny Corolla will never be the same to us after the power of a tank.

On the bright side of this madness, Matt and I will be able to celebrate meeting my life goal of living up North for a year or more in our shiny new apartment. Hooray! We're in a slightly smaller space than our previous apartment, but we now have a washer & dryer in unit and that was completely worth the sacrifice in square footage. Our new complex is very cute and we live right by the amenities so that Matt can easily continue his evening workouts.

The only downside we've discovered is that our apartment has an east facing window in the bedroom. This means we get oodles of early morning light in our bedroom while we're still trying to catch up on beauty sleep! I've bought some curtains to put up, but we need to borrow/purchase a drill before we can set them up. I'm not sure how excited I am about Matt operating power tools in the near future....

Our One Year Wedding Anniversary!

I've been considering what to write for this commemorative post for several weeks now. Did I want to reminisce about our wedding, discuss the ways that we've grown as a couple over the past year, wax poetical about love and marriage in general terms? I even looked back to my journal for inspiration. What I found there made me laugh:

January 18th, 2011

Official confirmation of plans to wed.

January 23rd, 2011

Is this really happening? To me?! I am 110% ready to marry Matt and spend the rest of my life with him. I do not doubt that we can conquer and work through anything that comes our way. One big rule: we will NOT be the gender stereotypical husband & wife, but partner & spouse. Things have been so crazy and I really need more to time to relax but life is running me ragged! Maybe next weekend? I promise myself right now that this will NOT get out of hand. I will have a beautiful celebration but not at the expense of my sanity or anyone else's. What I care about wedding-wise: spending time with my family and Matt's family; a pretty, simple dress; a clean, handsome suit; two comfortable rings. Screw the rest!

March 6th, 2011

Talking to Matt on the phone - today has been stressful - the past few weeks have been stressful. I bought a dress for the wedding celebration. SIGH. Things have gotten difficult. Fast. But I guess we will survive. This will all end soon. 10 week countdown to May 15th, 2011!

And that is the last post in my journal. A few months after my last entry, I started this blog but that is a lame excuse for my absence in a journaling habit I've kept over the past decade. In my defense, I think that the 5 months of our engagement were the craziest, busiest and most emotional months that I've experienced since I was a wild and hormonal thirteen year old.

Anyway, after great indecision I finally decided to share the two pieces of relationship advice that have stayed on my mind over the past year. The first nugget of marriage wisdom comes from Matt's cousin, Autumn, who wrote to us and said, "There is no magic formula for a successful marriage, only love, trust, honesty and open communication. When all else fails there is always paper, rock and scissors to help with compromises!"

I love this advice because it demonstrates the basic tenets of any good relationship (love, trust, honesty, and open communication) while admitting 1) that marriage takes effort and 2) what works for one marriage won't necessarily work for another. It also recognizes that comprise and humor are useful tools when problems arise (which they undoubtedly will)!

The second piece of advice came from a random gentleman at the grocery store. Matt and I were debating the merits of different coffee brands and flavors when he approached us. He told us that we reminded him of a younger version of himself & his wife who came to pick out their daily brew just after being married forty three years ago! After telling us this adorable anecdote, he cautioned us with a gentle phrase, "Hang in there. Stay in love."

At first, the phrase "stay in love" seemed a little too generic to be good advice, but after reflecting for a while I think I understood what he meant. He meant that we should stay fond of each other as people, stay interested in the daily things and small quirks, stay connected and aware of one another. All those little things that people in love do without a second thought. 

Why those two pieces of wisdom have stuck with me, I don't know but I like them and there is comfort in knowing that good advice is out there, even if we don't really need it just yet, still being newlyweds and all. One year down, seventy eight years to go (I'm going to live to be a hundred, don't cha know)!

Anniversary Dinner Date!

Our Six Month Wedding Anniversary

Six months ago on this day, I slept in late and ate cereal for breakfast. Matt and I browsed the internet together and watched a show on netflix. He drove me to a hair appointment at the mall and we picked up Taco Bell for lunch. We stopped by the florist to grab some flowers on the way to visit his parents. It was a seemingly mundane day, but I had a strange feeling that I was going to be married very, very soon.

Late on this breezy Sunday afternoon, Matthew and I found ourselves standing on a porch in the Texas country side surrounded by family and friends. We were anxiously awaiting the words that would release us from the spotlight and into the rest of our lives.

"You may now kiss the bride."

A few nights ago, I was given the opportunity to reflect on this momentous occasion when I was lucky enough to snag some girl time with a friend. When I told B, the soon (as in 10 days) to be Mrs. E, that Matt and I's six month wedding anniversary was coming up she asked, "So what does it feel like to be married for six months?" After a short pause, I responded*:

"I'm married?"

She laughed and seemed surprised. So I back tracked and tried to think of better words for my feelings.

"Ummm, well....how about - 'Who knew marriage was this easy?'"

The feeling I am trying to convey is that life with Matt now doesn't feel any more wonderful or difficult than before. We have always had a terrific, committed relationship and I am pleased that marriage hasn't messed that up! I respect and admire Matt for the things he excels at and I am smitten by the things he really sucks at.

It's not that we don't fight or stumble upon issues, but I feel that we have never been at a loss for compromise or otherwise finding common ground to stand upon together. I expect that our relationship will not always be so amiable, but I know we will always be able to work through life as a team.

This morning I asked Matt what it felt like to him to be married for six months. His first response was "I am the Dragonborn!" (Skyrim reference), which makes me think he doesn't enjoy being put on the spot for this blog. After a few nudges, Matt wrinkled his brow, frowned and said, "What's supposed to be so different from before?" And seeing how my answer wasn't any more inspired, I couldn't argue.

Matt's response might be interpreted for a variety of meanings but (I think) it boils down to the sentiment that life is good now and was good before too and there aren't any foreseen disruptions of the goodness so no worries.

I like it. I like us. Cheers to another happy six months!



*This conversation is remembered to the best of my ability, but I am sure my interpretations and memories aren't exact representations of our exchange.